June 24 2008

So, I went camping with Chakiz this passed(past?) weekend.
Amazing fun. Until Sunday/Monday, when I realized that there are so many differences between men and women that I'm boggled humans have survived this long.

First, we got there, and the first thing I do, is set up the shelter. I hop to the tent. Where are we putting it? Will it be okay here? How about here? Is it flat enough? Soft enough? Shaded? Out of the way of danger? Far enough away from the campfire and the food table? Yes, yes, yes, yes yes. I put it up. Then I get to arranging the inside. Chakiz, where would you like your sleeping bag? Your things? Which side do you want?

The first thing that he did was set up his hammock. The second he did was get out his guitar and lie in the hammock, while serenading me with 'Hey Jude' tabs--that I retrieved for him from his bag. The third thing that he did was went to the washroom.

Well, at least that explains how women have survived...

But, alas, that wasn't the only thing. There were really three things we did. We ate, slept, and layed around the campsite.

Oh, and we also went to the beach. Where I learned the second thing about men.
They're always right.

"Put on sunscreen; you'll get burned," says he.
"I haven't burned in three years," says I.
Long story short: I burned.
Badly.

"The cooler should go away in the back of the car," says he.
"Don't worry about it, the 'coons are scaring me with how close they're getting," says I.
Short story shorter: The 'coons ate well that night.


The third thing that I learned about men, is that they separate all of their little parts of life into compartments. When they say something, they mean it; nothing will sway their decision, because there's nothing to sway with.
Music is music; a job is a job; friends are friends; temporary lovers are temporary lovers; holidays are just that: holidays.
Nothing in their lives are connected the way that they are in women's lives. A bad day on the job will affect their sex life; a bad day in a supermarket line will throw a woman's life into depression.
But a man, a man will take it as far as the car, and then forget that it ever happened.

Damn, I wish I were a man, sometimes.