*blink, blink*.
And I can't find an ex, who should be simple to locate. The nutzo thing is, I found his BROTHER! I just can't find him.
Now, let's think. I have his phone number, but I want to do reconnaisance before stepping into something that seems a little brash, you know? I mean "Yeah, I knew you, I made you dump me, I was a total (insert any number of nasty names here) to you, but yeah, I've changed and I'd like to catch up, get a tea and go over old times, you know?" Not all that pleasant. So, I'll just not call him. That could be weird.
*sigh* Why can't I drop this? I hate me. It's just not in me to drop, I guess. Maybe I need closure. Maybe, I need to realize that I take things for granted.
Maybe I need to prove that I'm not a little kid anymore who is rude to everyone just because they want their games back.
Yeah, it seems like I was way, way rude to my exes all the time. Then, I came across my newest ex being slightly short with me. Since I've been there, I get it, but it still sucked. I kind of wish I could just apologize. Well, I could apologize to one, but I don't know how long our conversation would last. see:
Haha. It's sad because it's true. I don't even want to think how bad I would feel about my actions after that one.
Still can't find them. It has been, like, an hour. Okay, maybe a little more than an hour. I found mr. backcatcher on facebook, but I think he looks happy enough without me bugging him. Eventually I'll run into him some day. Then I'll apologize while the silence is already really thick and uncomfortable.
Actually, I find that I don't really think about him any more. I just kind of think of him as... been there, done that. Even people that I used to look at for the personality typing don't really interest me. I think pitcher hit me too hard with the sports thing, and I liked it too much. Now, sitting around isn't my thing, so backcatcher's personality is like beating myself over the head with a spoon. Kinda stupid.
(haha, like that one? I did.)
And, for the new one: First-baseman. He's the latest. Actually, he was sort of rude when I asked him for my stuff back. I planned ahead. I totally gave him most of his stuff before I broke it off, and gave him ample warning. He just chose to ignore it. But it most definitely wasn't sudden.
So, FB(because first baseman takes too long to type out) was kind of rude. Considering all things, I guess it makes sense. It's half the reason that I'm so interested in finding my other exes--to apologize for being a bitch after we broke up. I was a nasty, mean person.
Wow. Epiphany week, right here. So many things I've noticed that I've lost or become since I started dating. I think, I've always been pessimistic, but that's no reason to mope around, and be mean to everyone.
Now, I'll still have bad days, but who's to say that the rest of my days won't be made brighter?
Also, I am a horribly horrible girlfriend. Although, I generally warn the dates that before they are put through to boyfriend status. It is they who choose not to heed my warnings.
I hate playing toadey girlfriend who slobbers for her mate. I am a competitive person, willing to go for a challenge at any point in time, and yet I hold grudges for things said. All. The. Time.
For example, I love rugby. I can't help but talk about it, after all, it's like the next best thing since sliced cheese! So one day, I was remarking on kicking FB's ass in the PS2 game I own, and his rebuttle was: "You aren't even good at rugby!"
Lo, was I stunned. And that was the beginning of the end. I don't think I will ever let that one down. Ever. I don't care. That was just mean.
And that's when I realized he obviously wasn't right for me. Especially since I am not that bad at rugby.
Also, I am athletic. God, I hate that word. It's so... euw. Just euw.
But I can't sit all the time. If it's nice out, I want to be moving, wrestling, swimming... rugby-ing? I want to be out learning new sports and ways to move... and as much as I honestly say I hate basketball, when pitcher attempted to teach me to play, I actually began to learn. And, dare I say it, enjoy it. Volleyball's a hit with me, tennis, badminton, even lawn bowling. I mean, where do I meet all my mates?
A baseball park. Hence the nicknames. They're the positions that the exes are most well noted for in either my Nifty stories or in the actual games...which Nifty stories are very often based on, so they coincide. Anyway, the point is that I meet them all at baseball parks while WE'RE PLAYING SLO-PITCH. Actually, I don't know if I ever played with pitcher. I know we threw the ball around, but I think I met pitcher through backcatcher... and then ended up dating FB who was related to the other two by a team that was an expensive azure-beelzebub team. If you actually caught any of that, I'm impressed, because I'm confused now.
Anyway, the majority of my serious relationships have been with athletic men. Well, supposed athletic men. I meet them through sports, but half of them can't keep up with me.
So, let's see...
in order of interest: i. backcatcher. (He started it, but ended up being really lazy a lot... and ignoring me a lot.) ii. pitcher (Probably the only ex who could kick my ass in any sport, whether he'd played it or not.) iii. *this guy I didn't meet in baseball, and therefore rarely mention him. Still, henceforth, he shall be known as blondie, for his hair, which I still admire freely. Haha, I'm single, I can. Na. Na. Na.* Blondie played all sorts of sports. (He once said he wanted to be a gym teacher. Well... that relationship didn't last long on his request. Wonder why?) iv. FB. (Turned out to want to sit a lot. Fun while it lasted, which was mostly until the winter came the second time around. Oh, and when he said I sucked at rugby.)
There's the proof. They've all stemmed from sports. That's creepy. Only one have I not met through sports. Soooo creepy.
I really need to rethink my life. Why go to bars? I could hit up the men's rugby league! :P
EDIT: IT IS NOW 2:47 AM AND i found pitcher!!! HE WAS ON MYSPACE AND SO I'VE FOUND HIM--YAY! NOW, ONLY TO, ONCE AGAIN, FIGURE OUT HOW IN THE HELL I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY "i'M SORRY".
PAH. gIVE UP ON THAT NOW. i'LL NEVER DO IT, NEVER. BUT HE'S HAPPY, SO I'M GOOD. WOW, THEY BOTH ARE. GOOD FOR THEM! WOOT FOR PERMA-MATE.... WAIT A SEC. BOTH OF THEM FOUND PERMA-MATES AFTER ME... :p SO, THE NEW RULE IS... TO FIND A PERMA-MATE, DATE ME AND THEN BREAK UP WITH ME, AND THE NEXT ONE WILL BE A PERMA. GOT IT? :p MAKES ME SOUND HORRID. THEN AGAIN, MAYBE i AM. LOLZ. GOOD NIGHT ;D
No comments:
Post a Comment