You know, I think I'm nuts. Bonkers. Gone Bananas. I am so serious. I really think that I'm a closet depressed person. I will have a perfectly great set of days, and then one little thought will put me to thinking about a career as an assassin. And goodness knows I could very likely do it while in this mood. But, the part that bothers me is that I never take it out on myself, I always, always take it out on other people. The only thing that I do while I'm in this state is that I become an insomniac, because my thoughts won't let me sleep.
I suppose, though, that I do harm myself, I just don't do it in the normal way, like cutting.
Several times, I've gotten my ears pierced.
More often, I've sabotaged relationships.
Once, I got a tattoo.
So, I guess I'm nuts. I can create numerous characters because they really do exist, in my head. My complex personalities are just an offshoot, of things I want to be, have, believe in.
I'm starting to scare myself now. Maybe I'll just go lie down and wait for the morning to get here, so I can feign normalcy.
The thing is, I don't want to change it, because it is me, and I don't want to lose myself in drugs and therapy. I just want to know why.
No comments:
Post a Comment