May 30, 2011

So, I've been a busy bee, running around and working 39 hours a week and going to school and stuff. (Hours @work=good; last paycheque was hardly enough to pay my rent and student loan interest.)
My grama and grampa are being really generous and giving me their car since they bought a new one, and I gave mine to my mom and dad, because I really only need a car when increment weather approaches or I want to go see them... but I like to have one specifically for those reasons, and didn't realize that it would be so before I gave my mom and dad mine.

Today, I made the majority of my bridesmaid dress as per the Butterick B5322 pattern:

Start: Tracing

Cutting:

Sewing major pieces:

Deciding that I actually DID want a part (but not all) of the lining:

And finally, piecing it all together:

The zipper needs to be done still, but I didn't put one in because I don't have one long enough in the correct colour and neglected to buy one while buying all of the other stuff. The ribbon needs to be put on it still, but shouldn't take long. And, I might need to slightly alter the size, but it's okay. It also needs the bottom to be hemmed still.
As you can see, my house did not get cleaned.
I did not make an amazing dinner. ( Or cookies, which I actually wish that I had).
But damn it all if I didn't finish the dress(almost). In one night. Awesome. It's the first dress I've made by pattern without my grama's help :D
I made two at halloween, but I made those patterns up on my own, so they were much easier to work through.

I will, however, admit to sincerely liking making my OWN patterns. Then I have them pre-thought out and it's not like a guessing game as to how exactly things are going to fit together... or will they???

Anyway, I am going to sleep now, as I am tired. But first I will make sure I have a semi-made lunch for tomorrow, as I work all day.

May 23, 2011

You know, sometimes I get remarkably depressed. I'm not really sure why, exactly.
When I'm depressed, things just seem... insurmountable. And infinite. And exceedingly important.
Little things, like the three books that are not where I need them to be exactly when I need them. Or someone who asks where the clearly labeled changing rooms are when they're directly beside them. Or people who use guilt and the "children all packed up and driven over to the north end" excuse.

I have a hard time explaining why. Sometimes I don't even notice that it's exciting me. Then I get rage-y. I feel angry, I lash out at those around me. I yell and I curse at people, and I come up with the most awful ways to be passive aggressive. I throw things. Purposely. I throw temper tantrums. Like a little kid.

This all usually starts with me waking up in not a bad mood, but a stale mood. Just an uncaring sort of mood. It's flat. There is little thought. This stale mood of uncaring sometimes lasts a few days before I realize that I don't care. Sometimes I don't realize I was feeling like that until I get very angry and hit another step.
I don't know where this mood comes from either. It just seems to pop up from nowhere.

Sometimes it's hard to explain these feelings, especially to people who don't know them personally. Sometimes it's hard to explain because I'm not feeling them, and when I'm not, I can hardly remember what they're like. But when I feel them, I often don't want to talk about them or feel that they are of no consequence, or they are childish, or that they are something that isn't normal.

I think that's wrong, though. I think that maybe a lot of people in lives similar to mine feel like that. I also think that a lot of people do not get help. Further, I think that the help that they do get is less than help, and more confusing and enraging.

In counseling, which I do now, I have been learning to redirect my anger. To find things that I like to do, in order to distract, calm, and divert that anger.
I think that a lot of people could use this information.
But more, I think that people need to know that there are other people who feel this way too.

Anyway, I just wanted to make the notation that I watched a movie today that kind of applies to this whole thing: It's Kind of A Funny Story.
Ignore the reviews and such--Just watch the movie. I for one felt that it was both entertaining and enlightening. Perhaps a little screwy at the end--I'm just too pessimistic to agree with the ending now. But enlightening, and I can relate. So I like it.

May 9, 2011

Depending on what I do tonight, I may double post. I just thought that this was hilarious:


Yep, that's right. Trent is so awesome, that they can't even update their "still not fixed" status by 10:00. Or even eleven. It's almost 12:00.
And yes. That is the linux penguin on the tabs. I wish it would always stay.

Let me add that today is in fact the first day of most summer classes; I still don't know if I had to do a reading for class yet... and it starts soon.

Woo, Trent. That's why I pay more to go to Trent University than U of T. Because they don't care about whether we are schooled correctly.