September 22, 2008

Joe from Oshawa is a good man.
He helped me when my car was all messed up. I think I should have given him some money... but I didn't. I feel bad because I didn't, but that's okay, I guess. Next time, if ever I see him again, I will for sure.
I dunno, my car just started overheating and steaming while I was on the 401 just outside of Oshawa--considering I've driven about a thousand kilometres--no lie-- since Friday, I'd say that's understandable.
Basically, I overheated and steamed all my water out of my rad. I only bought one bottle of water from timmie's and Mr. Joe from Oshawa helped me a)find the place to put the water and b)put more water in, since he brough me a whole thing of it.
And then he showed me where the 401 was.

I think I have had my faith restored in humanity, once again. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, I am much happier in that silly little problem I have with trusting people. I tend to do it far too often and it gets me into trouble, but sometimes, sometimes it's just worth it.

On the other side, the what...
Let's see how much time I actually did spend in a car this weekend:
Drive Leanne to Mike's: 45 mins one way, and then I drove back to Trent; 1.30 hrs altogether.
Drive home from Trent: 2:45 mins one way
Drive to my house from Grandma's: 20 mins.
Drive to Western University/around the campus: 3.30 mins one way.
Drive home from western: 3.30 mins one way.
Drive to Grama's: 20 mins.
Drive back to Trent University: 4 hours(because a) I broke down in Oshawa and b) it's still construction season in Canada.)
Drive Leanne home from Mike's: 45 mins one way, and then I drove back to Trent; 1:30 hours all together.
Soooo.... In Three? Four days? I've spent: 1045 minutes in the car which is: seventeen hours and forty-two minutes in the car. Just a general number, too, not including any in between trips that were actually less time.
Wow. I love University. I get to drive, everywhere. And next weekend will be JUST as awesome. Cool, eh?

Anyway, in the seventeen hours and forty-two minutes I've spent in the car, I've had a lot of time by myself to think how much I'm not interested in a crazy relationhip. I don't want someone that's all over the place. I don't want drama. I'm not interested in it. I want someone who's familiar, who I don't have to change for, who I won't expect to change for me. I want someone who's going to be normal; who understands my mood patterns enough to know when I'm pissed off and when I just need alone time. Or when I just need a good slap on the hand and a warning because I'm being a bitch.
And I'm sick of fighting for guys. I am so sick of having to worry all the time. I want someone that I can trust. I want someone who I won't have to bare my teeth to. I also want a looker. I want someone who can match me in looks. I'm not that bad looking, and I know it. I can look really good when I want to. Unfortunately, that makes me vain. And it makes me have standards for my men.

And like I said to Pitcher, the one thing I've realized is that I'm following my own past; history is repeating. Hopefully the next guy I get will be like the one I got after backcatcher: another Pitcher. Only this time, I'm not going to screw it up. Because I've seen the pattern. I've seen the way it is.
And I know that maybe, just maybe this time, I won't take it for granted because although my history in man order is repeating, the way I understand and process the loss of men is changing, which means I'm much more stable. I'd like to think that I might even be a little more on the sane, mature side. I just don't know if that's pushing it.

Because yes, I still wear socks with elephants on them for fun.
To rugby.
With a Pink Floyd tee shirt on top.

And anyone I date has to understand that, because I'm not babying them anymore, and I'm not going to attach myself to their waists anymore. I'm old enough to know that I can make decisions on my own.
So.
There.

Also thought about what to do for a house this summer... not sure I'm going home. I might see if I can stay in Peterborough.
It would be nice.
Also: about a house in the future. I wonder if Sylver and Pitcher would get together and design me a house? I'd love them both forever if they did that... ahaa. It'd be a house from a dream. With Pitcher's design schematics and invention and Sylver's methodology and ingenuity (especially with how well she knows me), I'd say that that would be the most kickass house in the world. Ever. Seriously. I'd have to think about moving away if I got that house...
Tata. I have some Latin to do, and a house and naked baseball players to think about, here.