April 13 2008

So yesterday...last night...way early this morning, I went out with Alyssa and her friends in Welland... Her girlfriends... We were a group of four over nineteen-but-still-not-old and we were all pretty darn good looking, if I do say so myself. One of her friend's mom was the designated driver, so we went to Niagara Falls and to a strip club called Pepper Mints.
OMG.
That's right, I spoke IM.

And then I decided that while I am single, I am going to start hitting on pretty boys. I mean, I totally get that the guys at the club who were working there are just after money, and have no interest in me, but there were like, two who kept sidling by me shooting me looks like "I'll give you a lapdance, baby."
*sigh*
The only thing that I found really took anything away from the experience was the fact that my overlogical brain (No thanks to Zack who introduced me to the logical way of thinking about PUAs) decided to completely take everything that they did apart and try to understand or pinpoint what they were doing and why. And how people would react. But these guys, I'm sure, would be better off learning the game. I think one might be a natural, but he didn't use all of the techniques. I paid for that one.
Oh, I also noticed that a girl, a girl who is stripping does not need to act. She does not need to be a character. She can slowly, coyly remove her clothes and a man will be happy.
A guy on the other hand, the guys all played standard female fantasies. I went to centre stage with the guy who acted as the dirty doctor, because I value intelligence, overall in a man and the mere idea of an intelligent male who definitely has a chiseled, rock-hard set of abs just drives me over the edge. Or a rich, intelligent businessman, or a sexy intelligent linguistics major...You get the point. Intelligence is nice. Very nice. But so's a body that's not flubby. And I actually learned that it didn't matter how much they weighed as long as I could see some form of a nice ass. Wait, can I say ass on blogger? I guess so. I think I've done it before.
Yeah, so I learned a lot about my preferences. Especially when I was getting the lapdance onstage. That was fun. The girls thought I looked like I needed a lapdance, so they bought me one. Which technically was, like, six, because I was onstage and all the guys who stripped were giving me one.
That was hot.
And it's not my fault if they have scratchmarks. I'm particularly uncontrollable when I am being touched, and those guys were hot. The one guy grabbed my hair and yanked it back and kissed my neck:D I'll take that any day. I just can't remember who it was.
I also noticed that aside from my group and one other, the large majority of the rest of the strip club was old, and really heavy. I had an awesome time, but I know I could go anywhere and pretty much pick up a guy(which I didn't do yesterday).
But some of these women looked starved for male attention. I mean, they were like, pawing them, and doing things that I think might have gone a little far.
All these ladies could solve that by dressing better. They looked a little too interested to be trouble to pick up in real life (that's right, I know that a strip club's all pretend. And just think, Some people have no idea. That's kinda sad. I know. I was like "Gah! Why can't we find guys like this in real life?" and silver's like "What do you mean? This is real life!"
Well. No, it's not. These guys said the same thing, line for line when they were trying to make me buy a lapdance. I think the one guy did the "ignore the girl you want and talk to her friends thing" and clearly it worked. I did want a lapdance, though. But these guys were like, "Where are you from?" "hamilton" "Oh, the Hammer?"
Two or three of them used the same opener, down to the timing.
Sad, but true.
I think they need a PUA in there. I think PUAs should just all become strippers. It would be easier to give my money away. :D