Okay, so I'm in a dilemma. A dilemma-ous spot. Yes.
I've been accepted to Brock U.
I was also accepted to Trent U.
And I don't know where to go now. I like both programs.
I like both schools. So now, to decide, I'll do a pro/con list.
Not right now, of course, because I have a problem doing that since I haven't got one worked out. But there will most definitely be more than one entry today, as I think about Pro/Cons. And probably more as I go along. And then, I shall choose on a fifty fifty of (pro/con) vs. (because I want to).
Monday, February 25, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
February 23 2008
Okay, I just had the longest, freakiest dream since I stopped dating Backcatcher. I just dreamed that he showed up at my grandma's house, told me he was single, and we just jumped right back into a relationsip. And I woke up tired, unhappy, and freaked out.
I haven't dreamt about him in so long, you don't even know. It's so scary. I have to go to work, I just wanted to get this down, but... Then I was like, that was weird. It was long, and so much went on that I had to check out if he was single... Then when I signed into msn, this is the horoscope that came up:
Aquarius
January 20 - February 17Your natural psychic abilities may be short-circuited today, dear Aquarius. If you give readings, try to avoid doing any today. Interference from the minds of people other than your clients could cloud the issue, and this won't do anyone any good. Your imaginative faculties could be rather garbled as well. The best possible advice: take the day for yourself and go for a massage! You can go back to your routine tomorrow.
Now, isn't that interesting? So I'll check later, and report back here, but otherwise...what a dream! It wasn't even that sexual or anything, it was just... we were together, and we talked, and we walked around, and we talked to other people, and he was just there.
I didn't even know I wanted a relationship with him, in fact, I pretty much have no interest in him anymore... he's not my type. But that was weird. Maybe I'm just starved for affection and relationship status, maybe it's time I meet a new guy and date.
I haven't dreamt about him in so long, you don't even know. It's so scary. I have to go to work, I just wanted to get this down, but... Then I was like, that was weird. It was long, and so much went on that I had to check out if he was single... Then when I signed into msn, this is the horoscope that came up:
Aquarius
January 20 - February 17Your natural psychic abilities may be short-circuited today, dear Aquarius. If you give readings, try to avoid doing any today. Interference from the minds of people other than your clients could cloud the issue, and this won't do anyone any good. Your imaginative faculties could be rather garbled as well. The best possible advice: take the day for yourself and go for a massage! You can go back to your routine tomorrow.
Now, isn't that interesting? So I'll check later, and report back here, but otherwise...what a dream! It wasn't even that sexual or anything, it was just... we were together, and we talked, and we walked around, and we talked to other people, and he was just there.
I didn't even know I wanted a relationship with him, in fact, I pretty much have no interest in him anymore... he's not my type. But that was weird. Maybe I'm just starved for affection and relationship status, maybe it's time I meet a new guy and date.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
February 20, 2008
So, I totally wrote up this whole blog about how I got accepted into Trent U. And then Blogger wouldn't post it. So I wrote it on dA instead. Too bad. But, yeah, I did get accepted.
Furthermore, I've been realizing more and more how much of a nerd I can be. There was this one day that we were sitting at a caf table during lunch, (there were six of us). Of the six people, four were reading novels thick enough to give a football player a black eye (but not a rugby player, because we eat bananas). The two remaining people, both guys, were trying to hack the wi-fi for the school.
Nice. Then, today, while I was eating salad, pancakes and drinking mint tea after work at ten thirty at night, I ran into a quote in the pure romance novel that I was reading while eating. (So, I've been a little low on male company for the last... oh, three or four months now. What's your point?) Anyway, here's the quote:
"Each movement was strangely deliberate-from soap to water to the rub, methodical and familiar-and Dela wondered if it was not part of some ritual, a coping mechanism. Washing his hands clean of the night." This is in relationship for the five guys he just helped murder to protect the heroine, Dela.
Now, the first thing that I thought after I read this was: "huh. Kind of like Lady Macbeth, eh? With the crazy sleep-washing episodes, except Artur is awake."
The second thing was "Holy hell, I just linked a dirty romance novel to Macbeth!"
Currently, I'm thinking that Shakespeare's rolling over in his grave. Well, maybe not, since half the crap he wrote was dirty, dimestore and very sexually driven. Eg: "Maiden's heads" does not refer to a skull covered by hair and skin. Eg: The entire play of A Midsummer Night's Dream.
Okay, so maybe Shakespeare and Smut novels aren't all that much different...
Furthermore, I've been realizing more and more how much of a nerd I can be. There was this one day that we were sitting at a caf table during lunch, (there were six of us). Of the six people, four were reading novels thick enough to give a football player a black eye (but not a rugby player, because we eat bananas). The two remaining people, both guys, were trying to hack the wi-fi for the school.
Nice. Then, today, while I was eating salad, pancakes and drinking mint tea after work at ten thirty at night, I ran into a quote in the pure romance novel that I was reading while eating. (So, I've been a little low on male company for the last... oh, three or four months now. What's your point?) Anyway, here's the quote:
"Each movement was strangely deliberate-from soap to water to the rub, methodical and familiar-and Dela wondered if it was not part of some ritual, a coping mechanism. Washing his hands clean of the night." This is in relationship for the five guys he just helped murder to protect the heroine, Dela.
Now, the first thing that I thought after I read this was: "huh. Kind of like Lady Macbeth, eh? With the crazy sleep-washing episodes, except Artur is awake."
The second thing was "Holy hell, I just linked a dirty romance novel to Macbeth!"
Currently, I'm thinking that Shakespeare's rolling over in his grave. Well, maybe not, since half the crap he wrote was dirty, dimestore and very sexually driven. Eg: "Maiden's heads" does not refer to a skull covered by hair and skin. Eg: The entire play of A Midsummer Night's Dream.
Okay, so maybe Shakespeare and Smut novels aren't all that much different...
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
February 12, 2008
Wow. I was just doing my homework... Damn right, I said homework. I actually work on school stuff outside of school... impossible, non?
Anyway, I think I'm getting art-ed out... Or, maybe my hand's just tired and my brain's done thinking... either way, I know that it's too much thinking for me. So I'm taking a break.
You know it's time to take a break from work when your brain starts to look at romance story lines and your body follows suit.
Hell.
I think that this is one of the reasons I need University to hurry it's damn self up. I love being single, but I hate being single sometimes. I just don't like not having someone to be with when I feel like having them. So, maybe I was a sailor in one past life, but in a different one I was a countess who had men at her disposal.
Actually, I feel kind of like a werewolf. I don't want to be around anyone else, I want to be alone, yet here I sit longing for someone, so much so that FB started coming to mind again. I don't want to be with him in any dating sense, I just want to know what he's up to (And if his bed's cold).
But it has nothing to do with him, because then I think about this character that I invented, and I think nearly the same thing for my main female character. Man, I need some supreme cuddle time at school. I love my non-single friends. They're pretty awesome. They were pretty interested in hugging me all the time, and I like that. I like knowing that nothing could ever happen between us, but that it's okay to be all cuddly. Actually, there's two guys in particular that I feel particularly open to. It's not usual that I find two guys to be close to. And I mean it. I would totally be able to sleep with these guys and just enjoy it. I'm not saying that it'll ever happen, but I like the fact that it could happen.
Wow. Talk about openness. Oh well, it's my blog. I'm just feeling lonely.
Someone needs to write a book about relationships in singledom. :D If I knew anything, I'd write one.
The only thing is, I don't want to get into a relationship with someone random, because they don't get me, they don't know what I want from it. I don't want to be serious. I don't want to wake up every single day and dote on them. I want to dote on me. I want to be selfish. I want to have what I want, when I want... but I also don't want a grab and go sandwich, if you know what I mean. I want someone who will be there when I need them to be, physically or emotionally, and who knows when to stay away from me, because I don't like being attached at the hip. In fact, I can't stand it. I hate it. It's so... frustrating, to have to talk to someone about every little thing that you think, and they just don't get it half the time, because they're not in your head.
That's what I want.
I want someone who can get in my head, so we can play debates, have hot monkey sex, debate some more while we're eating, have another romp, and then roll over and go to sleep.
Oh, boy. I want perfection. 'Cause that's likely to be found.
*sigh.* I really did sigh out loud there.
I'm so hard to please.
But if you think you fit the bill, definitely call me, or just jump me, or something like that. I'd be happy either way.
Other than that, I think also that I'm all thought out, and that I need to get a shower, a nice, meditative, self-cleansing shower. Yes. So, good night, I'm off for the night, I hope.
Monday, February 11, 2008
February 11, 2008
Wow, it's been so long since I blogged anything, it's just been that I've been doing so many other things... For instance: it was my b-day party and I got the coolest stuff... a clarinet, the rocky horror picture show record, a bunch of canvases to paint on, and a sweet little personalizable TML CD case... Rockin'.
Anyway, so I've also started classes, which makes it difficult to get other things done, because those classes come with homework.
Then, I also spend all my time on the computer, writing stories and such.
Anyway, to keep you up to speed, I just applied to all of the school's varsity women's rugby teams. I don't know if I'll make them, but I applied.
So there. And that was all.
Oh, and by my reccomendation, listen to some Flogging Molly. It's good music. Very cool. I accidentally happened upon it one day and it just is perfect for everything. Yay!
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
February 6, 2008
Two days since my birthday, and I still haven't drank. Anything. Damn.
That doesn't really bother me, though. What bothers me is that I consistently think of men, and well, what I've been missing since I destroyed my last relationship with a guy. But it's not like I want the relationship back, in fact I'm much happier now that I'm single; I really do think that I'm meant to be single, or that the next mate I find will be permanent, because I'm just not playing around anymore. I don't care. It's not worth my time to fool around in year-and-several months-relationships.
*Whatever happened to men who took what they wanted, whether the woman wanted it or just secretly wanted it while saying 'no' the whole while? Did they all venture to another planet? If so, I'm leaving Earth.*
So, I really need to find my mate. I'm sick of just talking. I want to find said mate.
I think this subject is done. I'm bored with it now.
On the plus side, Rugby season's coming soon, and then I won't have time to do anything else anyway, except for admire my butt and enjoy the puking feeling while practising my ass off... literally.
Just one more reason to adore rugby. Ignore the fact that half of them are very likely nearing thirty... or forty. They still all have very nice physiques.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
February 4, 2008
So, today's my b-day. And, since I'm nineteen, I'll tell you all nineteen things I'll bet that you didn't know about me. Keep count on the ones you did know, and make a comment, then we'll see who knows me best.
1. I am an ex-cheerleader.
2. I used to have pink hair.
3. I won the French award in grade 8 for the highest marks in the grade.
4. I believe that I've seen my soul mate in dreams. And everyone wonders why I'm obsessed with Greece and Rome. It's because he's Greek or Roman.
5. My favourite stories to read are romances, which are so predictable, but so good when you don't get any loving. Or when you do. Or when you're just in the mood for perfection.
6. I am obsessed with zodiac signs and really believe in them, mostly.
7. I have a tattoo of my zodiac sign on my right, back shoulder.
8. It is of my zodiac sign, aquarius, and it is blue.
9. I am obsessed with my abs. Every other part of me could be gross, but my abs are good, and so am I.
10. Therefore, I enjoy bikinis. My favourite bathing suit is a blue halter top, which, incidentally, is ruined from wearing it to Supie.
11. I was a Supie for three years at three different parks, and therefore know the majority of kids around my city.
12. I actually care that Heath Ledger is dead. He was a good looking man. //edit: DAMN good looking//.
13. The first thing I notice about a guy is how competitive he is. The more competitive, the more interested I am in debating on every.little.thing. with him. The more I debate, the more I fall for him. If I don't fight with a guy over everything, I don't care enough to get into it.
14. I sleep for a long time. I need that sleep, or I wake up super hyper-ly, and then my nerves fray very quickly so that by lunch, I'm pissed off at everything.
15. When I think, I think in very logical terms. Everything has logic, even if it seems stupid. Seriously. I over think everything, to a tee.
16. I've mellowed out since I turned 16. If I'm this annoying now, think of how bad I was before. Really. I was annoying as hell.
17. I have had strep throat twice, due to it transferring from me, to pitcher, and back to me. But mine was worse. I swear.
18. Usually, the more ballsy I act, the more I'm terrified inside. If I'm being all aloof and smooth and sharp-witted, I'm completely nervous, and that's the only way to stop it from showing, so that's what I do.
19. (The last one!) I am a complete attention hog, completely obsessed with myself, and I am really vain. My idea of beauty may not parallel everyone else's, but I always look exactly the way I want to look, sexy or not. It's always a purposeful look. Always. Everything I do is set up for some form of attention. Always. It's like a rule of thumb. I. Love. Attention.
And there you have it, folks! All you ever wanted to know about me.
**technically this is an hour early, but I'll very likely end up drinking tomorrow. Yay Age of Majority!
1. I am an ex-cheerleader.
2. I used to have pink hair.
3. I won the French award in grade 8 for the highest marks in the grade.
4. I believe that I've seen my soul mate in dreams. And everyone wonders why I'm obsessed with Greece and Rome. It's because he's Greek or Roman.
5. My favourite stories to read are romances, which are so predictable, but so good when you don't get any loving. Or when you do. Or when you're just in the mood for perfection.
6. I am obsessed with zodiac signs and really believe in them, mostly.
7. I have a tattoo of my zodiac sign on my right, back shoulder.
8. It is of my zodiac sign, aquarius, and it is blue.
9. I am obsessed with my abs. Every other part of me could be gross, but my abs are good, and so am I.
10. Therefore, I enjoy bikinis. My favourite bathing suit is a blue halter top, which, incidentally, is ruined from wearing it to Supie.
11. I was a Supie for three years at three different parks, and therefore know the majority of kids around my city.
12. I actually care that Heath Ledger is dead. He was a good looking man. //edit: DAMN good looking//.
13. The first thing I notice about a guy is how competitive he is. The more competitive, the more interested I am in debating on every.little.thing. with him. The more I debate, the more I fall for him. If I don't fight with a guy over everything, I don't care enough to get into it.
14. I sleep for a long time. I need that sleep, or I wake up super hyper-ly, and then my nerves fray very quickly so that by lunch, I'm pissed off at everything.
15. When I think, I think in very logical terms. Everything has logic, even if it seems stupid. Seriously. I over think everything, to a tee.
16. I've mellowed out since I turned 16. If I'm this annoying now, think of how bad I was before. Really. I was annoying as hell.
17. I have had strep throat twice, due to it transferring from me, to pitcher, and back to me. But mine was worse. I swear.
18. Usually, the more ballsy I act, the more I'm terrified inside. If I'm being all aloof and smooth and sharp-witted, I'm completely nervous, and that's the only way to stop it from showing, so that's what I do.
19. (The last one!) I am a complete attention hog, completely obsessed with myself, and I am really vain. My idea of beauty may not parallel everyone else's, but I always look exactly the way I want to look, sexy or not. It's always a purposeful look. Always. Everything I do is set up for some form of attention. Always. It's like a rule of thumb. I. Love. Attention.
And there you have it, folks! All you ever wanted to know about me.
**technically this is an hour early, but I'll very likely end up drinking tomorrow. Yay Age of Majority!
Saturday, February 2, 2008
February 2, 2008
So, I look like I'm , like, fourteen. Yeah. It's a sad truth. I think that's half the reason that I've done what I've done. I mean, it's not like I've murdered anyone, but personally, I hate it when someone looks at me and says: Aw, aren't you the cute little one who's probably amazing in school. At the same time, I like it. I can't help it. It's flattering. I just got it so much, that it's not funny anymore.
But I can't fix it. My Grandma and I have the same taste. It's not even like it was my mum's fault, 'cause she wears stuff I wouldn't. But then, I have days where I'm like... hey. I'm sick of this. I'm going to go make out with someone. Luckily it's rarely difficult to find someone. But, like I said, I look young enough that it's kind of sad. And I know that my makeup and stuff doesn't help, since I wear a heck of a lot of pinks. And my hair is nearly always not-so-sexy. And yet guys still have irrational complexes based on me. Whatever! Not cool.
Anywho, I hate it sometimes. Sometimes it's easy, and sometimes I just love being young, because you get away with a whole lot more. But sometimes, okay, most times, real men, older men, are hard to come across. Well, I can't help that I look young. I was naturally gifted with it, And then it just came from a natural tendency to wear significantly baggy clothes. So? Point? Can't I like not being naked?
But I can't fix it. My Grandma and I have the same taste. It's not even like it was my mum's fault, 'cause she wears stuff I wouldn't. But then, I have days where I'm like... hey. I'm sick of this. I'm going to go make out with someone. Luckily it's rarely difficult to find someone. But, like I said, I look young enough that it's kind of sad. And I know that my makeup and stuff doesn't help, since I wear a heck of a lot of pinks. And my hair is nearly always not-so-sexy. And yet guys still have irrational complexes based on me. Whatever! Not cool.
Anywho, I hate it sometimes. Sometimes it's easy, and sometimes I just love being young, because you get away with a whole lot more. But sometimes, okay, most times, real men, older men, are hard to come across. Well, I can't help that I look young. I was naturally gifted with it, And then it just came from a natural tendency to wear significantly baggy clothes. So? Point? Can't I like not being naked?
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