Hey! This is my hundredth post! Time to celebrate *dances* woohoo!
Success at its finest! I mean, who else in their right minds would be excited about the honour of sitting at a desk for long enough to have written a hundred posts while single-handedly ignoring homework, social time, AND cleaning?
In other news...
I decided, yesterday, that next semester I would make my life a little easier and retreat from my previously chosen section of learning. I definitely switched out of Latin and Greek.
Yes.
I can't stand them, there's just too much to learn.
Then, today, I got an email on the school email questioning whether or not one should drop a course... so I did. I am no longer in Greek. *sigh* it sucks, because I gave up and I hate giving up. I mean, really, if it were more interesting, or useful, I'd think about working harder on it.
Buuuttt... Not really interested. In grade ten, maybe I was. Okay, I was. But now? Naah. I need something a little more useful, because something might come up and that rich guy that I'm looking for to marry for his money might not actually exist, or, you know, be single and unmarried. Then again, who says I'd need to marry him? I could just be a mistress...
naah. Then I could never claim anything from his name.
Anyway, in order to not have too many failing courses show up on my transcript, I dropped Greek this semester, too. I still have Latin so that I have a full courseload, but Latin's not too hard, I just think it's boring. But if I don't have to worry about Greek AND Latin at the same time, it will be much easier to do just Latin. That will be perfect.
*sigh*
I hate quitting. Anyway, I have to go do some... no, nope. No Greek homework. I guess i'll just have to finish the Iliad now. Darn. I was so looking forward to...no, nope. I wasn't. I wasn't looking forward to the Greek work.
For some reason, I feel oddly elated...
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
October 27, 2008
Hmm... Halloween is coming and I'm going to be BATMAN!
Then, there's a guy down my hallway who, when I said that I was going to be the better of the magnificent duo, he said "You can't be Batman?! You have to be Batwoman! You're just not a guy!"
Well, and here I thought that we'd cleared up this silly thing where men stereotype women.
I try very hard to not stereotype men.
Or do I? I mean, I certainly wouldn't chase a little pansy guy who did silly things like... study birds for a living. Hahaha. I'd laugh at any man who was smaller, thinner, shorter than me.
Okay, I suppose that I do stereotype men.
And you know, as much as we'd all like to see women gain the equivalent status of a man, it will never happen. Even after all this time, I have my accounting class, and there are one HECK of a lot more guys, better looking guys, more manly, demanding guys in that class because it's a BUSINESS class then there are women.
In my friend Sylver's college class for architecture, there are significantly fewer women then men.
I think that the only reason we as a society think that we are all equal is because we are given numbers. When you actually experience it, it's quite odd.
This entire revelation came about when I was looking for a cool halloween costume. I wanted to be spider man, actually.
All I could find in any of the women sections were bust-baring, high-thigh, teensy-tight, clevage-collecting costumes, designed to tease, entice, and promise to men that I am easy. Here's my thing: I'm not really hard. Seriously.
But I'm not going to sell it, either. That's like, I'll show it, when I want to, if it suits me.
Usually, actually, I dress like that specifically to get attention.
But on Halloween? Why? Does every day have to be a day that women are expected to look like fourteen year olds who still haven't figured out that dressing in clothes is better than dressing in tights?
Grr...
Seriously, I'm a hoodie and jeans kinda girl. And the funny thing is, that last year, I decided I wanted to look better than a few other girls, because I wanted to catch the attention of a guy. So, I was. The first thing that my guyfriend said when he saw me was:
"What? Since when do you have cleavage?"
I was amazed that I'm declassified as a girl if I don't dress like one.
I mean, I never lose my... clear girly squeal when I see a cute guy.
Oh well. I suppose eventually, I'll find someone who's more comfy with me the way I am. My fingers are still crossed for that guy in my accounting seminar. He's pretty cool.
Anyway, tune in next time;
Same bat time,
Same bat channel!
Then, there's a guy down my hallway who, when I said that I was going to be the better of the magnificent duo, he said "You can't be Batman?! You have to be Batwoman! You're just not a guy!"
Well, and here I thought that we'd cleared up this silly thing where men stereotype women.
I try very hard to not stereotype men.
Or do I? I mean, I certainly wouldn't chase a little pansy guy who did silly things like... study birds for a living. Hahaha. I'd laugh at any man who was smaller, thinner, shorter than me.
Okay, I suppose that I do stereotype men.
And you know, as much as we'd all like to see women gain the equivalent status of a man, it will never happen. Even after all this time, I have my accounting class, and there are one HECK of a lot more guys, better looking guys, more manly, demanding guys in that class because it's a BUSINESS class then there are women.
In my friend Sylver's college class for architecture, there are significantly fewer women then men.
I think that the only reason we as a society think that we are all equal is because we are given numbers. When you actually experience it, it's quite odd.
This entire revelation came about when I was looking for a cool halloween costume. I wanted to be spider man, actually.
All I could find in any of the women sections were bust-baring, high-thigh, teensy-tight, clevage-collecting costumes, designed to tease, entice, and promise to men that I am easy. Here's my thing: I'm not really hard. Seriously.
But I'm not going to sell it, either. That's like, I'll show it, when I want to, if it suits me.
Usually, actually, I dress like that specifically to get attention.
But on Halloween? Why? Does every day have to be a day that women are expected to look like fourteen year olds who still haven't figured out that dressing in clothes is better than dressing in tights?
Grr...
Seriously, I'm a hoodie and jeans kinda girl. And the funny thing is, that last year, I decided I wanted to look better than a few other girls, because I wanted to catch the attention of a guy. So, I was. The first thing that my guyfriend said when he saw me was:
"What? Since when do you have cleavage?"
I was amazed that I'm declassified as a girl if I don't dress like one.
I mean, I never lose my... clear girly squeal when I see a cute guy.
Oh well. I suppose eventually, I'll find someone who's more comfy with me the way I am. My fingers are still crossed for that guy in my accounting seminar. He's pretty cool.
Anyway, tune in next time;
Same bat time,
Same bat channel!
Monday, October 20, 2008
October 20, 2008
Wow. How about this one: It's six fifty in the morning. I've slept since eight o'clock last night...
So, my life's awesome. Yeah, I dunno if I was bored or if I was just finally getting all that sleep back that I didn't have while school was in, but whatever it was, I feel great now. :D
Well, a little cold.
Hm. It's seven sixteen now, and the sun isn' t up yet. This is going to be a fuuuun winter. On the plus side, it might rain today. Gives me a reason to stay inside and maybe even go shopping a little bit! Yay! I haven't actually had much of a chance to go anywhere but a GT, walmart, and now a sears. I've yet to wander around those little stores downtown or ANYWHERE in Peterborough... I mean, it's a small town, but it's got loads of little stores. We even have a few malls...
:D
I'll prolly end up sitting here designing tee shirts for Twilight's release... :D Maybe I'll get Sylver's done for her. I've had it planned this long, why not? I have lots of time. I just need some cardboard. And some sylver paint :P
Truesay. I'll have to find some tee shirt paint.
Otherwise, I'd say I haven't got much to do other than read the rest of the Iliad and start on the Oddyssey.
And you know how much I want to do that? About as much as I want to poke my own eyes out... Hahaha.
(But then how will I see the movie??? It's just not the same if I can't see Twilight!!)
So, my life's awesome. Yeah, I dunno if I was bored or if I was just finally getting all that sleep back that I didn't have while school was in, but whatever it was, I feel great now. :D
Well, a little cold.
Hm. It's seven sixteen now, and the sun isn' t up yet. This is going to be a fuuuun winter. On the plus side, it might rain today. Gives me a reason to stay inside and maybe even go shopping a little bit! Yay! I haven't actually had much of a chance to go anywhere but a GT, walmart, and now a sears. I've yet to wander around those little stores downtown or ANYWHERE in Peterborough... I mean, it's a small town, but it's got loads of little stores. We even have a few malls...
:D
I'll prolly end up sitting here designing tee shirts for Twilight's release... :D Maybe I'll get Sylver's done for her. I've had it planned this long, why not? I have lots of time. I just need some cardboard. And some sylver paint :P
Truesay. I'll have to find some tee shirt paint.
Otherwise, I'd say I haven't got much to do other than read the rest of the Iliad and start on the Oddyssey.
And you know how much I want to do that? About as much as I want to poke my own eyes out... Hahaha.
(But then how will I see the movie??? It's just not the same if I can't see Twilight!!)
Thursday, October 16, 2008
October 17th, 2008
Okay. I'm getting sick of this guy thing. Seriously.
All of them. Every single one of the guys I know is on my nerves right now. Except the gay ones, or the ones I can't ever see myself with.
Well, and Kiz. I don't see how he even figures in anymore, it's been so long. He's just... history.
Unfortunately, the newest replacement for Kiz--the one with the personality and the one with the raver girlfriend who lives miles away... he seems to have taken up that place. Within six months of realizing I needed to change, else I would be doomed to be forever wishing Kiz would just see reason and a happy ending might therefore occur, I ended up screwing up AGAIN and finding someone else who's just as eager to step up and be the douche.
I don't know. I don't hate him, like I keep saying to myself.
I hate me, for not being able to deal when this kind of guy comes along. He's so... perfect. He's crazy. It suits me. He's random, and aloof. It keeps me amused and always thinking about him. I'm never bored. I get bored easily, and this kind of guy's so random.
He's forceful.
And I hate myself for wanting to relive every damned minute of it, because I know it will never come back. I think he blocked me on everything.
He will never be back. And I can't stop thinking about what he was like. And what he did. And comparing every new guy to him, because maybe, just maybe, I'll find a replacement.
Yesterday, I was in a really bad mood, because two nights ago, I was up really late. As I was in that half state between awake and sleep, I caught a whiff of him. Just... his smell. So perfect. So comforting. And while I tried to find the smell again right then, at five o'clock in the morning, for ten minutes, TEN MINUTES, I searched just to smell his scent, and I realized it.
I have hit the lowest of lows.
Again.
It's not him I hate for it, it's me. I hate how I react to a certain breed. A breed that I will never conquer but always want to. And in wanting to, that's who I'll be most attracted to.
I hate myself. I want to step out for a few days, take a few days off from my memories and my past, and just... step out. I want a coma to last a few days so I can sleep, so I can sleep without dreaming any more dreams. Because they're good dreams. They make me happy. And then I wake up and wish I could dream again. I've gotten to insomniac because I just don't want to sleep. It's easier to just stay awake and not sleep, keep busy and distract myself.
But there's only so much I can do before I a)fall asleep or
b)hate myself again.
Like now. I hate me right now.
I hate him.
I hate me.
I hate me.
I hate us both.
All of them. Every single one of the guys I know is on my nerves right now. Except the gay ones, or the ones I can't ever see myself with.
Well, and Kiz. I don't see how he even figures in anymore, it's been so long. He's just... history.
Unfortunately, the newest replacement for Kiz--the one with the personality and the one with the raver girlfriend who lives miles away... he seems to have taken up that place. Within six months of realizing I needed to change, else I would be doomed to be forever wishing Kiz would just see reason and a happy ending might therefore occur, I ended up screwing up AGAIN and finding someone else who's just as eager to step up and be the douche.
I don't know. I don't hate him, like I keep saying to myself.
I hate me, for not being able to deal when this kind of guy comes along. He's so... perfect. He's crazy. It suits me. He's random, and aloof. It keeps me amused and always thinking about him. I'm never bored. I get bored easily, and this kind of guy's so random.
He's forceful.
And I hate myself for wanting to relive every damned minute of it, because I know it will never come back. I think he blocked me on everything.
He will never be back. And I can't stop thinking about what he was like. And what he did. And comparing every new guy to him, because maybe, just maybe, I'll find a replacement.
Yesterday, I was in a really bad mood, because two nights ago, I was up really late. As I was in that half state between awake and sleep, I caught a whiff of him. Just... his smell. So perfect. So comforting. And while I tried to find the smell again right then, at five o'clock in the morning, for ten minutes, TEN MINUTES, I searched just to smell his scent, and I realized it.
I have hit the lowest of lows.
Again.
It's not him I hate for it, it's me. I hate how I react to a certain breed. A breed that I will never conquer but always want to. And in wanting to, that's who I'll be most attracted to.
I hate myself. I want to step out for a few days, take a few days off from my memories and my past, and just... step out. I want a coma to last a few days so I can sleep, so I can sleep without dreaming any more dreams. Because they're good dreams. They make me happy. And then I wake up and wish I could dream again. I've gotten to insomniac because I just don't want to sleep. It's easier to just stay awake and not sleep, keep busy and distract myself.
But there's only so much I can do before I a)fall asleep or
b)hate myself again.
Like now. I hate me right now.
I hate him.
I hate me.
I hate me.
I hate us both.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
October 9, 2008
Well, I'm officially failing, like, everything. I think it's technically mid-terms... and I'm not doing too well. Hopefully I can pull off a bunch of amazing-catch-up-on-marks things like I always did in high school... I was really good at that. I mean, I now know that I can in fact get my stuff done, if I have to, at three in the morning. Yes. It does happen. I just don't know where all the time goes. On the other hand, my eyes were so burning this morning that I had to take out my contacts, and now my eyes are even more burning. Now they're better. I just put on my glasses. It helped a lot. it's just 'cause I'm blind.
Anyway, other than that, I suppose it's all good. I got my first hangover the other day... I suppose Wednesday... Tuesday was Team Tuesday at the bar that put money or something towards our rugby team. Yeah, we're cool. We're supported by a bar.
Although, our summer team at Creek was also supported by a bar in Stoney Creek. So, I guess it's fairly common.
Yeah. Anyway, Tuesday was interesting. I don't think I'm ever going to change because I just can't seem to. On the plus side, I did say no when I got asked to go home with someone. My excuse: I'm not drunk enough, and I have homework waiting for me.
I ended up missing the last bus to school and crashing at a teammate's apartment which was two blocks from the bar.
It was awesome. Her floor was really comfy.
Anyway, I'm going to go nap for an hour. I have a long day ahead of me, and an even longer weekend. And I have a seminar due. Maybe I should do that now. Forget the naps. I'll wake up when I get pounded on in the practice.
Time for some coffee...
Anyway, other than that, I suppose it's all good. I got my first hangover the other day... I suppose Wednesday... Tuesday was Team Tuesday at the bar that put money or something towards our rugby team. Yeah, we're cool. We're supported by a bar.
Although, our summer team at Creek was also supported by a bar in Stoney Creek. So, I guess it's fairly common.
Yeah. Anyway, Tuesday was interesting. I don't think I'm ever going to change because I just can't seem to. On the plus side, I did say no when I got asked to go home with someone. My excuse: I'm not drunk enough, and I have homework waiting for me.
I ended up missing the last bus to school and crashing at a teammate's apartment which was two blocks from the bar.
It was awesome. Her floor was really comfy.
Anyway, I'm going to go nap for an hour. I have a long day ahead of me, and an even longer weekend. And I have a seminar due. Maybe I should do that now. Forget the naps. I'll wake up when I get pounded on in the practice.
Time for some coffee...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)