Well, It's been a hard, long week. I found a man, I spent enough time with him that I'm interested, I performed four plays, two dress rehearsals, did three different renditions of a tango, got addicted to coffee, weird sexual positions, explored the same sex and my tendencies towards them, discovered my old self, recreated my new self, celebrated and mourned the same thing, and slept two nights in a row with the same man, in the same place.
This has been the most eventful week of my life.
Tomorrow, I leave the man, my old self, the tango, the musical and all that behind in Hamilton for a month to do rugby at school.
I question my sanity.
I question all of everyone who's letting me go. Are we all a bunch of masochists?
Well, I learned this week that, really: Yes, I am. But only with certain someones and in certain ways. I don't like being pinched for biting my nails, but my bruises are very obvious.
Hips, neck, and scratch marks on my back.
I must be.
*sigh*
I will be back, I know it. Soon. Once a month, every month. Religiously. You could say that I was the werewolf of Trent University.
I'm officially leaving.
This will be the hardest thing I've ever done.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
August 23, 2008
http://canwest.a.mms.mavenapps.net/mms/rt/1/site/canwest-chchnews-pub01-live/current/launch.html?maven_playerId=chchmain&maven_referralObject=3045252
Did it work? It's the news piece on my play... Check it out!
Did it work? It's the news piece on my play... Check it out!
Monday, August 18, 2008
August 19, 2008
Sleep is for uncool losers. So, I've seen my schedule for the week, and to tell you all the truth: I'm pretty sure that the three practices I have to look forward to each day next week will be a walk in the park to this week coming. I have to:
- Still pack for school.
- Rehearse hardcore (As in, learn an entire tango in three days--play performances start on Friday and continue on till Sunday. BUY TICKETS FOR THE BOYFRIEND!)
- work
- Rugby game on Wednesday! (after my rehearsal)
- Still buy stuff for school (eg: telephone, printer ink, etcetera...)
- and I promised a friend ages ago we'd go out to lunch. Which has turned into "after work dinner.)
I am fairly sure that I'm not going to have any time between now and Sunday to eat, let alone sleep. Well, it was nice knowing y'all, but I'm fairly sure that I'm constituted as dead, now. Just, lay me down, and all that. I'm so stressed that I'm sick. On top of that all, Monday, I have a dinner. Thank goodness it's a dinner, because then I have all day to clean. And my grama and grampa helped me out immensely, with all the stuff they gave me. I love them. They are the awesomest.
I keep missing buttons on the keyboard. I say them in my head as I'm typing, but I never get the note to my fingers to hit the correct buttons. It's stupid.
I'm also sick, on top of it all. Sick, like, headcold. Headachey, nose running, coughing, earaches, watery eyes because my nose is running. Yeah. That.
Yay.
Damned me, doing everything all at once. I had to make it difficult by joining every stupid thing that I came across that I liked.Rugby, a play which I get to dance in... Work. Okay, the last one I don't really like, but I do like to make money.
It's all so hard.
Life's so hard.
Next topic: polygamy and why it's stupid-and should be illegal- to make it illegal.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
August 13, 2008
School’s in two weeks. Terrified shitless. Seriously. Don’t tell anyone, but I am. So much so, that I’m having trouble thinking about it. Because I can’t really come out and be like, “Oh, yeah, right. So, that thing I’ve been bandying about for eight months, yeah that—I’m really, really terrified I’m going to go, and screw up in the social scene, miss all my classes, not understand what the HELL the teacher’s saying, and flunk out after spending nearly twenty thousand dollars on it.”
But, oh, no! I also am going to be there a week early for the rugby camp, which although is awesome will KILL me because I’m in terrible shape. But, I think that if the seniors on my team think I can do it, I’ll be able to. I do work my ass off in practices to get better. Literally. I’m in the best shape I’ve been in since I was dancing. Even against that, I think I’m stronger than I was then. I lost my flexibility, though, and I’m terrified when I go into tackles against anyone but a Sherwood girl or my own team. I don’t hit hard enough. Ever. I’m always afraid to do it. Oh well. I’ll learn or fall behind, and since I’m competitive, I don’t think I will fall too far before I get sick of not playing.
About school, though, I’m afraid that I’m going to alienate everyone because I am a bit of a creeper and do mass amounts of research on people before I even know them, just because it bothers me to not know them. And then I don’t tell them that I’ve done mass amounts of research on them, because “Hi, yeah, you don’t know me, but I know everything about you, including your dog’s name and you’re minute of birth” is a really bad pickup line.
I feel like a bit of a creeper, but I can’t help it. It’s a safety thing. I just don’t like not knowing who I’m up against. Seriously, if I were in any part of the government, it would be in the spying section.
It’s weird. And I damn well know it.
But, oh, no! I also am going to be there a week early for the rugby camp, which although is awesome will KILL me because I’m in terrible shape. But, I think that if the seniors on my team think I can do it, I’ll be able to. I do work my ass off in practices to get better. Literally. I’m in the best shape I’ve been in since I was dancing. Even against that, I think I’m stronger than I was then. I lost my flexibility, though, and I’m terrified when I go into tackles against anyone but a Sherwood girl or my own team. I don’t hit hard enough. Ever. I’m always afraid to do it. Oh well. I’ll learn or fall behind, and since I’m competitive, I don’t think I will fall too far before I get sick of not playing.
About school, though, I’m afraid that I’m going to alienate everyone because I am a bit of a creeper and do mass amounts of research on people before I even know them, just because it bothers me to not know them. And then I don’t tell them that I’ve done mass amounts of research on them, because “Hi, yeah, you don’t know me, but I know everything about you, including your dog’s name and you’re minute of birth” is a really bad pickup line.
I feel like a bit of a creeper, but I can’t help it. It’s a safety thing. I just don’t like not knowing who I’m up against. Seriously, if I were in any part of the government, it would be in the spying section.
It’s weird. And I damn well know it.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
August 11, 2008
Well, prop didn't exactly work out. He just stopped calling. Whatever. Not my dealio. I don't care, I suppose. Well, that's not true. It's not that I don't care. It's that I can't care. Unfortunately, this has been happening lately, and I find that the best thing to do is ignore it. Pretend it never happened. Just forget it. It did happen, but it's gone. It didn't make a difference. One more reason to not believe anything that a man says, does, thinks. It's just... pointless. My mom keeps saying that because of the way I react to things, I'll never find a man worth keeping.
It makes sense to me. I don't think I will. Apparently I missed the class Understanding Men 101... Too bad. They're messed up, seriously. Then again, so are most women.
Humans, then, in general; I like it when a person will say what they're thinking at all times. I don't want a lie, I don't want something hidden, I don't want stupidity. I want a statement. It goes for everyone. Don't just hide what you think, say it. Maybe we'd have some more interesting things going on were that the case.
Eh. Oh well. Clean slate in University.
I'm born and bred to be popular there.
It makes sense to me. I don't think I will. Apparently I missed the class Understanding Men 101... Too bad. They're messed up, seriously. Then again, so are most women.
Humans, then, in general; I like it when a person will say what they're thinking at all times. I don't want a lie, I don't want something hidden, I don't want stupidity. I want a statement. It goes for everyone. Don't just hide what you think, say it. Maybe we'd have some more interesting things going on were that the case.
Eh. Oh well. Clean slate in University.
I'm born and bred to be popular there.
Friday, August 8, 2008
August 8, 2008
So, I play rugby. And I have sustained my first serious injury. It's not super serious, but it has damaged me enough to still be in pain the day after I did it. The embarassing part is that I did it in practice...
It was my finger. I totally jammed it while I was catching kicks from another girl on my team. Then I continued with the rest of the practice.
Ow.
Can you say owwie? 'Cause I've learned. I think I'm going to wrap it today, not that it's going to do anything. Gah. Ow. It's on my right hand, my ring finger, so every time I go to pick something up, it hurts like mad... and it's so swollen that it won't bend anymore. It looks like stupid. Okay, that is how bad it looks. My sentence didn't even work out.
On the other hand, it looks cool.
And it proves how weak my hand is.
Great. One more thing to have to work on for the next three weeks.
Also on a brighter note, I'm supposed to get a call today from Prop-man, which will be nice if it happens. Seriously. I'd like that. Ow. Something in that sentence just hurt my finger. OW. Not cool. Typing's not working for me.
Tata!
It was my finger. I totally jammed it while I was catching kicks from another girl on my team. Then I continued with the rest of the practice.
Ow.
Can you say owwie? 'Cause I've learned. I think I'm going to wrap it today, not that it's going to do anything. Gah. Ow. It's on my right hand, my ring finger, so every time I go to pick something up, it hurts like mad... and it's so swollen that it won't bend anymore. It looks like stupid. Okay, that is how bad it looks. My sentence didn't even work out.
On the other hand, it looks cool.
And it proves how weak my hand is.
Great. One more thing to have to work on for the next three weeks.
Also on a brighter note, I'm supposed to get a call today from Prop-man, which will be nice if it happens. Seriously. I'd like that. Ow. Something in that sentence just hurt my finger. OW. Not cool. Typing's not working for me.
Tata!
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