12th April 2010

Dearest Governments with Recall procedures,
I was hoping that by the time I have children, no more small choking hazards are present in any area that my children should play. Also, any and all dangers should be removed as they are with play toys nowadays so that I may peacefully sip my whiskey without hearing my child choking on or being strangled or pierced by any object.
Therefore, I wish to acknowledge several parts that only you can recall and clear up before I have these aforementioned children:
1. Rocks. If two inch long screws can be choked on, then rocks and small pebbles can be as well. I request that you do a nationwide recall on these objects and notify everyone of their demise. perhaps grind them up and sprinkle them somewhere.
2. Vehicles. Includes non-motor vehicles such as bikes, scooters, rollerblades, etc., these objects could detach from their driving route and injure or cause death to my child(ren). I request that these be removed from natural society in order for protection.
3. Animals commonly known as "household pets". These could become loose and wild which could result in bites, licks, or transference of common bodily pests, requiring stitches, many dollars in medicine, and death. They should all be removed from these countries and sent to countries where these great recalls are not posted for all to see, since they don't care enough to protect their children.
4. Pencils. It has come to this person's attention that pencils and pens are still being used as writing utensils in schools across the country. The erasers, if occurring, pose a choking risk to any who ingest them. The wood easily snaps and turns to wood chips, and can be lodged in the throat. The sharp tips can be used as weapons and have been known to break off in the skin, perhaps even staying there forever. Also, eye injuries, ear injuries, punctures and lacerations are common with this object. If choking, it could cause death.
5. Rapists/Pedophiles. These persons are potentially dangerous and should be shipped, along with the animals, to that selfsame country with no laws against dangerous artifacts. They can cause severe trauma, both physical and mental, to a child, even causing as much damage as death.
6. Any high ledge. These could present a fall zone for children, resulting in broken bones, chipped or lost teeth, bruises, contusions, stitches, casts, and other medical costs that my daycare is ill equipped to deal with.
7. Sidewalks. There have been numerous occasions upon which a child has fallen and bruised, scratched, or needed stitches from the use of sidewalks and they should be removed immediately. Also, any related substance of asphalt or sand or grass or roadway or wood or metal should be removed.
8. Trees. These also present a fall zone. See number 6) above.


I thank you for your time in reading this, and hope that these demands are responded to in a timely manner. More objects are to be coming to you from my own and other opinions of which dangerous things causing death or possible harm to a child should be removed from our countries in order to fully embrace stupidity in our culture.
That and I don't feel quite like watching my children all the time, and don't deal with blood well. Or medical bills. Or many of the other costs of raising a child, including that of time.
At very least you should put out warnings on these objects to demonstrate correct use.

http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/category/toy.html

April 11, 2004

Nearly the 12th.
That's okay, fast blog, not making too much sense and appealing to my fangirly-romanceness:
I'd be a werewolf. I can't hide emotions well, much as I choose, and I too often change moods faster than a snap with the sources being things beyond my control.

I'd be a were.
Great.
At least I'd not be friggen freezing year round like I do now. I need some fur.

April 8, 2010

Your body uses the calories in alcohol as a source of energy in the same way it uses the calories in other kinds of food.

Alcohol is metabolized by the liver into an acetate that can be used as a source of energy. However, alcohol holds very little nutritional value and the acetate from alcohol is used immediately and cannot be stored for future energy use. Because your body uses the fuel from alcohol before it uses fats and carbohydrates, you may not metabolize (burn) the fats and carbohydrates you would normally. This may increase the amount of fat in your body. (source: https://interwork.sdsu.edu/echug2/can/results.php) So, in essence, as long as you don't consume food and only alcohol, you'll still have energy to do stuff, and you WON'T GAIN WEIGHT! (unless you mix it with pop or something sugary. You must drink your whiskey straight!) I don't know about you guys, but I'm thinking that the government has been hiding things from us...